Might you be in your wilderness season?
There are times when you are in a place that is extremely uncomfortable because you are desiring more in your life. It feels like it's taking all of you to stay and sit still. You are itching to bust out of your current environment, leave the people around you go somewhere completely new. (folks called to missions understand this really well) You feel like a horse and rider waiting for the horn to blow to take off running. You are crying out to God "WHEN!", "I want it NOW!", "Why can't it happen, what's holding this thing up all ready?"
You are not disrespectful or whiny but it is a sincere desire to do MORE with God. You've seen a peek of what is possible and with everything in you you want to be in that "more" right now! But you're obedient and you want to wait for God and will never go ahead of Him. You're like a kid waiting for the parent to say it's okay to go out and play!
This is all OKAY in the WILDERNESS season.
Carrying that analogy further, with the child and parent, the more activity and higher level of risk the longer it takes the parent to prepare us to go out and play! If you're only going to the sandbox all you need is a pair of pants, a shirt, and sandals. But if you're going to ride a bike there's a helmet, knee pads, long sleeves shirt and jeans, and sneaks with socks. This is preparation time to ensure you have a good time and to the fullest and for the longest time.
The Wilderness is preparation time, it's not punishment. Going THROUGH the Wilderness and WANDERING in the Wilderness are two different things. We will all go through the wilderness for preparation, equipping, and pruning for what is coming next. God will give you a peek of what is coming to keep you going through and not allow you to settle in the wilderness or turn back around to bondage. Knowing that it's okay to keep looking ahead and bracing for take off brings so much peace!
If you find yourself in this Wilderness season, release the feeling of guilt, settle down in the truth that God has chosen this time for you for your good and HE WANTS you to be desiring what He has in store for you. It's all on purpose, get excited about what is next!