Updated: Mar 6, 2020
I grew up in the Baptist church that was taught that being homosexual is a sin and you go to hell. About 10 years ago, I had an experience that lead me to the struggling with the thought of being gay.
I remembered those words “gays go to hell”. And, “You have to choose. Are you going to follow Christ, or walk away and live a life of sin?” Leaving God to be with another woman? I shook my head in disgust. I hated the idea. I hated it with all my being. I hated the GAY word.
I began asking God, “Please take the gay away, please, ppppllleeeeaaaassseee, God”.
Then, I had a moment of calm. I got up, pulled myself together, wiped my tears and said, “Ok, I know what I want and need to do. I choose you Lord. I love you, and there is nothing else in this world that I want...but You. I will not leave You to be gay.”
That moment I decided that I would go to be with Jesus. “Jesus, I want to be with you”. I decided that night to take 15 Ambien, sleeping pills, with the intent to die..but God.
And this is what He said and I will never forget it “You say that being gay is a sin? Well, trying to kill yourself is a sin also. Don't you ever do that again. NO, I WILL NOT TAKE THE “GAY” AWAY. I HAVE WORK FOR YOU TO DO AND PEOPLE TO REACH”.
Hearing this I said, “Yes my Lord”.
I have never looked back since.
I walk freely and with confidence because I know without ANY DOUBT what God said to me. I don't have to explain myself, defend it, prove, debate, or owe anyone and explanation. I stand firm and proud to be a Christian and Gay. Yes, I can be both. God has a purpose and plan for everyone no matter your sexual identity or orientation. God is not surprised by homosexuality because he created us. It’s not worth taking your life over.
P.S. SHARE THIS TESTIMONY. You may help someone you know suffering in silence.