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Were you though? Were you actually straight or living a straight life?
There is often a difference in the lives we live on the outside and our inner world. There are repressed parts of our beings we choose to hide from the world because of fear. We fear the opinions of others. We don't want to disappoint our parents, friends, church leaders, coworkers etc. Our need for community drives us to conform to the larger group ethics and behaviors in order to stay connected. Our worst fear is to be left alone or ostracized by our community.
Is it possible to be gay after being straight your whole life? Absolutely. There are so many examples in our society right now of adults coming out late in life. One of my favorites is Wanda Sykes the comedian and Queen Latifah (she's not officially out but we all know :))
Something to remember is your whole life is not over. You still have a lot of life to live being your true self. It's easy to use this question to convince yourself that it is not possible to now be gay because it gives you an excuse to continue to hide yourself. But the truth is out to yourself and you can no longer repress it. Number one, you're probably too tired to continue to hide and since you're older you care less about what people think about you; which is a good thing.
As I've gotten older and come out in my mid thirties again I know for a fact I care way less about what people think about me. People will always have their opinions no matter what you do. When I was Ms. Perfect Christian my old friends and even family had opinions, some negative. I didn't care then because I felt very justified and self-righteous, feeling like I was in some way better than them and they were in the wrong. Coming out as queer has been a much different experience because I'm now aligning myself with the sexual minorities and almost ALL the opinions are negative. But at the end of the day no one was there wiping my tears because I was depressed from not being true to myself. No one is paying my bills and none of them have spilled blood for me on a cross.
So as you are coming into yourself a little later in life understand this is WAY OVERDUE. You got this...keep going. And if you need help transitioning from a straight identity into a queer identity schedule a complimentary call with me now.
Much love,
Coach Yeamah