The In-Between Stage of Coming Out as an Adult
Personally, when I was grappling with the realization that after all those years of trying to ignore my same gender attractions they had not
I was changing and still had to be my old self in conversations and social gatherings. Carrying two versions of myself simultaneously constantly was tiring.
I had shown my family, friends & coworkers I was that testimony of "gay no more." But actually, I was "still gay." So I still entertained conversations about my future husband and children. I still politely welcomed prayers about my straight future.
As adults we strive to be consistent in our character and behavior. We do this because we want to make it easy to KNOW us. Our dreams, likes & dislikes, fears took all of our adolescent years to solidify and build the foundation of who we are. So now when you are discovering or rediscovering who you are it seems as if you are destroying that foundation you took so much time building and are going to have to rebuild this all over again.
That's partly true.
It is absolutely awkward and difficult to continue in relationship with other people, especially family, as you are deconstructing and examining and re-examining parts of yourself. It's a very hard process to go through alone.
This is the stage most people are in when they reach out to coach with me. Their identities are going topsy turvy inside of them, their world is spinning and they need to find stable ground. They need clarity. And peace. And joy & happiness again. They want to feel settled, whole and secure in who they are again.
It's going to take work and commitment to be who you are.
P.S. If this is where you are you can sign up for a complimentary coaching session with me. Click here to schedule now.