Personally, when I was grappling with the realization that after all those years of trying to ignore my same gender attractions they had not
I was changing and still had to be my old self in conversations and social gatherings. Carrying two versions of myself simultaneously constantly was tiring.
I had shown my family, friends & coworkers I was that testimony of "gay no more." But actually, I was "still gay." So I still entertained conversations about my future husband and children. I still politely welcomed p