First of all, I want to applaud you for your optimism for reading this post. Your heart is still hopeful even though I’m sure you’ve had some real heartbreaks. You are a strong woman and you STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE! Kudos to you my beautiful sister. I am right there with you.
So let’s get to it, how exactly do we attract the right man in our lives?
#1: You need to define exactly who the right man is. If that means writing a list—then do it. The list isn’t for God it’s for you. When you define that right man—his attributes, character, passions, and relationship with God—it makes it easier to weed out when the counterfeit comes. Which incidentally also means you will RECOGNIZE him when he arrives. In Habakkuk 2:3 God tells us to write the vision and make it PLAIN. So define it. I’ve written mine down but it was hard to articulate initially and I just had to record my conversation with God on my phone and then I could write it down.
#2: Become the person who compliments—NOT COMPLETE—the kind of man that list describes. We attract who we are. If you are broken you will attract brokenness. If you don’t love yourself, you will attract a person who doesn’t love themselves. So if you want a man who is confident and strong—YOU have to become confident and strong.
Do an inventory of your inner self right now; ask yourself the hard questions about how well you love you, how healthy is your relationship with God, how is your self-talk, how well do you value yourself, how good are you at leading yourself? If your answers scare you, do yourself a favor and stay out of any relationship until the answers are not scary anymore. You don’t want to be scary on the inside because you will attract scary on the outside. Do you really want a man who is insecure, riddled with low self-esteem, has a plutonic relationship with God, and can’t even lead himself? NOPE, you don’t.
SO beautiful, hopeful and optimistic queen—focus on loving yourself so much so that it will be EASY to eliminate anyone that comes along who doesn’t LOVE YOU the way YOU LOVE YOU.
P.S. you also don’t want anyone who loves you more than you love yourself. He will think he’s your savior and there’s only one Savior, Jesus. Because more often than not, it’s not that he loves you more it’s that he needs you to be something for him—so when he’s showering you with compliments it’s because he desperately needs your response to be feed something in him he’s not found in himself. And you will misinterpret that as love because you haven’t learned what real love is, because you haven’t taken the time to really love yourself.
Don’t ever forget that you are beautiful and you deserve a love that is tailor-made for you. You don’t need to look at anyone else’s love story and wish that were you. There’s a love story that’s been written in heaven for you; and if you trust God He will show you that He knows how to make your heart leap for joy.