I understood for the first time this weekend fully what people mean when they say marry your best friend. I attended the wedding of one of my closest friends and it was so beautiful. I watched as they recited their vows to each other and their words were full of passion and truth. The love that exuded from those vows was palatable. I listened as the pastor explained what the covenant of marriage really stands for and the gravity of serving another human being. The weight of the whole thing really hit me.
I’ve always honored to covenant of marriage—it’s always been something really serious to me and never taken lightly. I know that the decision of who to marry alters the course of your life forever. Choosing wrong will literally ruin your life. I’ve witnessed it many times in my own family and friends—how that one wrong decision permanently damages a person sense of worth and value. God forbid children are involved—it becomes a wretched cycle of pain and hurt. So I HONOR marriage and I know how important it is to choose rightly.
Jesus told us in the Bible that there is no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend. Then in Ephesians, the Bible tells us that a man is to love his wife the way Christ loved the Church and laid down His life for her. Then in Proverbs the Bible states that a friend loves at all times. Are you following the logic? Friendship is the foundation of marriage—it’s the only thing that will sustain and maintain a healthy marriage. Marriage is hard, as many married people most married for over 20 years stated at the wedding this weekend. It’s hard with the RIGHT person—and it fails with the WRONG person. But if you are friends—best of friends—you will make it.
Think about the person you enjoy the most spending time with—I guarantee you that you think about laughing with that person. You think about having fun with that person, you think about sharing your heart and them understanding the REAL you, you think about telling them all of your secrets trusting that they won’t judge you. That’s what friendship is—God called Abraham His friend because He didn’t hide anything from him. God was transparent with Abraham and vice versa. Jesus told the disciples that He called them friends because He shared with them the most precious thing He owned—His Father’s secrets. So tell me is the person you are with or praying for this kind of man? Is the one you may be planning to marry this kind of friend? Does your heart leap for joy when he texts or calls you? Are you excited to see him every time? Is he the first person you think about when something goes right? Do you call him first when life throws you a curveball? Have you even been with him long enough to answer these questions? If your answer is no—let that relationship go or take time to develop that friendship. If your answer is yes—I applaud and congratulate you on building a strong foundation for your future.
Not everyone can be your best friend—the term itself suggest that out of all of your friends this person is above all. This is my prayer, that God will bring me a man who I never get tired of being around, a man who makes me laugh, who challenges me to grow not because he’s saying it but because I’m motivated by looking at his life, a man who is never content with status-quo but is always reaching for the best in life, a man who knows that God is a good God and there is evidence in his life of that truth, a man who I can dance all night with, a friend who loves at all times. I will not build a relationship on desperation, infatuation, lust or ever settle for less than that. I know God is up to the task—you will witness His goodness in my life.
I want God to use my life to show His daughters that if they trust Him, He will show them that their standards are not too high, that their desires are not bothersome, their deep down wishes have been heard by Him, and that He is able to fill their heart with absolute joy and gladness.
You are loved,