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Welcome to the club honey! Seriously, it's important to know that you are not the first person this has ever happened to. There are thousands of people right now realizing the same thing and frantically searching online for what to do next. It's so prevalent that almost every other rom-com is this exact story line, straight and #queer.
Falling in love looks different for everyone so I'm not going to tell you to follow a checklist to see if you're just being delusional or you are actually in love with her. For me, I know I've fallen in love with someone when I want to spend ALL of my time with that person. I miss them when they're not there. I'm excited to be in their presence. Being with them makes me feel like I'm having the best time of my life and I never want it to end, even if we're just drinking wine and watching a movie. I become fiercely protective of them with other people. I find a way to bring them up in every conversation. Thinking about them makes me smile. And I shower them with gifts, because that's my love language. :)
If any of that sounds similar to what you're experiencing, yes you're probably in love with your friend. You're a woman and she's a woman and all this time you thought you were straight. First, be easy with yourself and try not to freak out!
There are tons of questions going on in your mind right now. You're looking back at your life wondering if you've always been this way. You may currently be in a relationship with a man, she may currently be in a relationship with a man as well. This can get messy really fast.
My advice to you is:
If either of you or both of you are in a relationship DO NOT cheat on your partners. There's no excuse for non-ethical non-monogamy. Speaking from experience, trust me.
Get out a journal, and think about how you want to this to end. Do you want to marry her? Or do you just want to see what it will be like to kiss her? Get clarity first!
Share your feelings with someone you trust to keep it to themselves.
Pray and ask God for wisdom on how to proceed further. There are options you're not aware of because your logical mind is being overtaken right now by your emotions.
Always walk with integrity in everything you do. That's first and foremost. And acknowledge Him in all of your ways.
Much Love,
Coach Yeamah
P.S. Make sure you're following me on Instagram @coachyeamah